


Scenes From the Cutting Room Floor: Season Five

by SupernaturalPrincess9



Series: Scenes From the Cutting Room Floor [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-12
Updated: 2015-04-12
Packaged: 2018-03-22 11:32:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 20,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3727237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturalPrincess9/pseuds/SupernaturalPrincess9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My interpretation of the scenes we didn't see on the show, exploring the Wincest dynamic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sympathy for the Devil

**Author's Note:**

> This series is 100% in sync with canon events/people/places. It can be read as a stand-alone story or be read in conjunction with watching the episodes. Most scenes are postlude - either an extension of the last scene or a new scene. Any scenes that are pre-episode are noted as "prelude" and any scenes that occur at some point during the episode are noted as "intermission".

“What can I do?” Sam asked as they stood outside the hospital where Bobby had learned that he’d never walk again. Sam was desperate to win Dean back. He needed Dean more than anything else. There had to be a way for him to reconnect and establish trust with him again.

“Honestly? Nothing.” Dean said, looking at Sam. “I just don’t think we can ever be what we were, you know? I just don’t think I can trust you.”

Inside, Dean felt like he was dying. This was his baby brother, whom he instinctively trusted with his life. Not being able to trust him was worse than anything Dean could imagine. He was physically sick from the emotional pain inside him. He pressed his hand against his stomach to try to keep his gut from churning.

Dean walked away from Sam, pausing at the trunk of the Impala for a moment before getting into the car. Sam stood with tears in his eyes in the lot, trying to gather his emotions before joining Dean in the car.

Sam folded in on himself in the passenger seat. Hot tears slid down his cheeks and fell onto his shirt. He didn’t bother wiping them away. He didn’t have the emotional energy to even try. He attempted to keep his crying quiet, but he wasn’t always successful, and occasionally a sniffle or soft gasp would escape him. 

As hard as it was, Dean just kept his eyes on the road and drove. If he looked at Sam, he’d have to pull the car over and comfort him, and he just couldn’t do that right now. His heart was broken and he had enough of his own emotions to deal with at the moment. Dean had to fight the urge to press the accelerator all the way to the floor in an attempt to outrun everything that had happened in the last few days.

 _“You chose a demon over your own brother.”_ Sam heard Dean’s voice over and over in his head. 

Dean was right – he’d been stupid, foolish and selfish. He deserved Dean’s anger. But it was crushing – and on top of knowing that he, Sam Winchester, had started the apocalypse… well, it was nearly more than he could handle.

Sam finally wiped his tears away and sat up straighter. He had to find a way to win Dean back. He knew he wouldn’t be able to use words – it would have to be through actions… if he had any chance at all. He was so damn sorry – and he’d tried to tell Dean just how sorry he was but Dean didn’t want to hear it. 

And he wouldn’t want to hear it. Not now, maybe not ever. 

Sam would find a way to stop the apocalypse. He’d save the world in an effort to save his brother, to honor what they’d once had together. He didn’t care if he were alive when all of this was over. He’d gladly sacrifice himself if it meant Dean would once again believe that there was something good inside him. 

He’d give up everything, including his life, just to see love in Dean’s eyes one more time.

Sam stared at the road ahead. He had one purpose now: save the world, save his brother, win back his brother’s love. Everything he would do going forward would be his salvation. A glimmer of hope for redemption would be the spark which drove him.

And Sam clung to that little bit of hope he had. It had been just a moment, but it was what he needed to hold on to if he were going to get past this. 

He remembered Dean’s actions as he’d handed Cas the amulet; the very amulet Sam had given Dean for Christmas when they were young.

“Don’t… lose this.” Dean had said, followed by, “I feel naked.”

Maybe it wasn’t much, but in Sam’s mind, it meant Dean still loved him. Maybe still needed him. Could maybe trust him again.

It would have to be enough.


	2. Good God, Y'all

Sam grabbed his stuff out of the Impala with a heavy heart, leaving Dean in emotional turmoil as he sat at the picnic table, alone. Dean watched his baby brother drive off, sitting passenger in a car that wasn’t theirs with a man at the wheel who wasn’t him. 

He looked away when the pain became too much.

Dean thought about all Sam had revealed – his desire for blood, his lack of trust in himself… Dean had wished he could have said something to make it better for Sam. But he couldn’t. He hadn’t trusted himself to speak his mind because he knew, once said, words could never be taken back. So it was better to say nothing and let Sam interpret that as he would instead of risking saying something that might separate them forever. 

Dean was afraid that their rift would never be healed, that they would never be good again. If only Sam hadn’t…

“Nah…” Dean said out loud. That wasn’t true. Dean needed a little honesty with himself. He could have made everything better if he’d let himself forgive Sam… if he let himself trust Sam again… he could have taken Sam’s emotional pain away. 

He could have held Sam to him. He could have kissed Sam’s pain away. He could have told him he loved him.

There was so much he could have done. 

He could have told him that it was, in fact, Dean Winchester – not Sam Winchester, who started the apocalypse by breaking the first seal.

But he couldn’t. And, being honest with himself, he wouldn’t. And he knew that was wrong. He knew he shouldn’t hide that from Sam, but if he wouldn’t let himself think about it, how would he ever tell Sam?

Dean stood up and stretched his legs. He definitely wasn’t 20 anymore. Dean thought about how simple life had been then. When he was 20 and Sammy was 16, they’d been best friends. Sam hadn’t left for college yet – they hadn’t even known that would happen. 

When they could have fun, they’d have fun – tubing down a river, going to Six Flags over whatever town happened to have one. They’d go to movies, arcades, concerts… and they’d just enjoy being brothers.

Now… every damn thing was fucked up. And he was alone. His brother was… broken. They… were broken.

Dean looked out over the valley below. The rolling hills, the greenery… it was all beautiful. The blue of the sky reminded Dean of Sam’s eyes when the sunlight hit them just right. The beauty around him reminded Dean of how it felt to be buried inside of Sam, sharing their love. 

Dean sighed. Sam being gone was like losing a limb. It had only been a few minutes and already the ache of loss had started. Dean closed his eyes and let out a long breath. There was just one thing to do now.

He was going to stop the apocalypse or die trying. Maybe once everything was right again, he and Sam… maybe they could work on getting back to where they’d once been. 

Or, maybe he’d be dead and Sam would be free. He wasn’t going to hunt anymore… so maybe he’d find a girl, settle down into a normal life and he’d never have to know that Dean had died trying to make the world safe for him.

With a plan in mind, Dean jogged to the Impala and jumped in the driver side. Briefly, he looked over at the passenger side where Sammy should be. He’d have to get used to the emptiness. He’d have to let the emptiness fuel him as he worked to save the world. 

For his brother.


	3. Free to Be You and Me

Cas listened to Dean tell him how happy he was without Sam. Dean was angry, but Cas knew he didn’t really believe what he was saying. He could never really feel that way about his brother. What Cas didn’t understand specifically about what Dean was saying was how he could even say it out loud and think anyone would believe him.

Cas didn’t understand humans. They confused him. They spent half their time lying to themselves. And lying to each other. They caused each other so much pain and torment. Over and over, for seemingly no reason. Then they would feel ashamed, contrite… just to repeat the cycle, again and again.

Cas couldn’t listen to Dean lying to himself any longer, and Cas certainly didn’t appreciate Dean lying to him, so he disappeared from the Impala, leaving Dean to his own thoughts. 

He reappeared in a park outside of Golden, Colorado. He enjoyed the mountains, covered in snow. The majestic peaks and verdant valleys below, the colorful contrast of the leaves as the fall took hold, Cas loved it all. The vista brought him peace and a sense of calm. The earth was a stunning creation, full of beauty. 

Cas sat on a bench, looking over the mountaintops and valleys. He thought of Dean. Full of self-loathing and righteous indignation, covering a tormented soul still trying to recover from its time in hell. A man who saw things as black and white, right and wrong. 

And Sam. The gentle one who was tainted with demon blood as a baby, who consistently fought against the darkness inside him, trying to do the right thing, but often failing. But he always got back up and tried again, never giving up… especially not on Dean. He would never give up on his brother.

They weren’t meant to be apart. They were soul mates; neither could feel whole and happy without the other one at his side.

He had to find a way to get them back together. They belonged together. It was written. It was fate. They were soul mates. Literally created for one another. Two halves of the same whole. So many different ways to say it but it all meant the same thing: Sam and Dean were meant to be, in every sense of the word.

Cas thought it was unfortunate that they’d been born brothers but he was happy to see they’d gotten past that in order to bring their relationship to its fullest potential. That would have stopped nearly all humans from making the same choices Sam and Dean had. But when two souls were so powerfully connected, that connection could not be denied. In fact, it was devastating to those souls if their connection were not realized.

Cas knew Dean was in a tremendous amount of pain. He wondered if Sam was doing any better. He decided to check on him.

Cas stood and ported himself to the bar in which Sam worked. He remained invisible and watched Sam chop lemons. He could tell by Sam’s demeanor that he wasn’t doing any better than Dean was. Sam looked ok on the outside, but Cas could see the pain around his eyes, in the tension of his shoulders… and he exuded a sense of sadness.

“Humans.” Cas thought as he disappeared into the ether, going somewhere quiet to figure out how to right this ship.


	4. The End

Dean watched Sam walk to his ride. He couldn’t get Lucifer out of his mind.

_"You know why God cast me down? Because I loved Him. More than anything. And then God created...you. The little...hairless apes. And then he asked all of us to bow down before you, to love you more than Him. And I said, "Father...I can't." I said, "These human beings are flawed, murderous." And for that...God had Michael cast me into Hell. Now, tell me...does the punishment fit the crime? Especially when I was right? Look at what six billion of you have done to this thing, and how many of you blame me for it."_

Dean shivered. Lucifer wearing Sam… had been chilling. Dean was terrified that he’d have to see that… Sam like that… again. 

Dean closed his eyes and remembered the scene he’d had with Lucifer in the garden.

_”You better kill me now! Or I swear I’ll find a way to kill you and I won’t stop!” Dean had yelled at Lucifer, the tears in his eyes falling over his lashes and onto his cheek._

_“I know you won’t.” Lucifer had said, “I know you won’t say yes to Michael, either. And I know you won’t kill Sam. Whatever you do, you’ll always end up here. Whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up… here.” Lucifer’s smile had been terrifying in its flatness. “I win… so, I win.”_

As Dean struggled with the memory of 2014, Sam went back to the car he’d “borrowed” and grabbed his gear. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply before turning around and walking back to the Impala where Dean waited for him, behind the wheel in his usual spot.

Sam threw his duffel in the back seat and climbed in. He breathed in the scent of home: gas, leather, Dean… He was home and it felt good. When Dean still hadn’t started the car, Sam looked over at him worried and a little scared that he might be having second thoughts about giving him another chance.

“Dean?” Sam said tentatively, looking over at his brother.

Dean let out an audible breath and turned in his seat so he could face his brother. He then scooted over to be closer to Sam. When he was situated, he reached over and took Sam’s hand in his. “Sammy.” Dean said softly. “I am sorry… so sorry.”

Sam squeezed Dean’s hand. “Me, too, Dean.”

Dean pulled Sam to him, hugging him close. “I’ve missed you.” Dean whispered. 

Sam shivered as Dean’s breath warmed his ear. Sam buried his face in Dean’s neck and exhaled. Dean closed his eyes against the image of Lucifer wearing Sam as a meat suit, dressed in white, holding a red rose. He vowed silently to himself that he would never let that happen.

“Missed you, Dean.” Sam murmured as he let his brother hold him. He was so relieved that Dean had called him back, that they could start anew.

“I don’t know if we can get back to where we once were, Sam.” Dean said quietly. “But…” Dean let his sentence trail off. There was no need to finish it and he didn’t want to say something wrong, so it was probably better to say nothing more for the time being.

Sam just held onto Dean, letting Dean’s warmth seep into his soul. He’d do anything for his brother… and if being just his brother was what Dean wanted, then Sam could do that, too. All that mattered was that they were together now.

Dean released Sam, patting his shoulder as he slid back into the driver’s seat. He looked back at Sam, glad that the passenger seat was no longer empty. “Glad you’re back, Sammy.” Dean said as he started the car and headed toward the main road.

“Glad to be home, Dean.” Sam said as he settled into the passenger seat.

Dean’s heart stuttered at Sam’s words… he considered right here to be “home”. With him. And that’s when Dean realized that for him, it was no different. Sam was his home, too.


	5. Fallen Idols

Sam took his place in the driver’s seat. He lovingly ran his hands over the leather-covered steering wheel. He missed sliding his hands over Dean, loving him with his touch. They weren’t there yet, but inside Sam was full of hope. 

Dean handing him the keys had always been Dean’s way of making amends, his way of letting Sam know that things were ok between them. He also did it to let Sam know that he was there for him.

That he trusted Sam.

Sam needed to believe that Dean would trust him again. He looked over at Dean. He’d leaned his head back and had his eyes closed, maybe starting that nap he’d mentioned. Sam needed to be close to him, but he was afraid to reach out. 

Dean wondered why Sam was taking so long to start the car. He was considering looking over at Sam when Sam finally spoke.

“Dean.” Sam said in a low voice, partly so he wouldn’t startle his brother and partly because he was afraid Dean wouldn’t want to touch him.

Dean rolled his head to the side and looked at Sam. “Yeah?”

Sam looked back and then patted his thigh. “You wanna…?” Sam paused and smiled tentatively. “So you can stretch out…” he added when Dean hadn’t said anything or physically moved.

With things so fragile between them, Dean didn’t want to do anything to push Sam away. But he was also feeling a little uncertain about reestablishing too much physical contact too soon. 

Sam looked back at the road. “It’s ok… never mind…” The hope he’d been feeling dimmed in his heart.

And then, suddenly, Dean’s head was in his lap. Sam smiled as he looked down at his brother. And then Dean reached for his hand, holding it to his chest tenderly. 

“Thanks, Sammy.” Dean said softly, resisting the urge to kiss Sam’s hand. He had to be careful. He had to protect himself. He had to protect Sam.

He had to protect them.

Oblivious to Dean’s inner torment, Sam’s heart soared. He squeezed Dean’s hand and felt a sense of peace for the first time in a long while.

Dean slid his hand onto Sam’s thigh, using his thumb to gently stroke a few caresses over the denim. Sam, in turn, scratched Dean’s scalp lightly, knowing that Dean loved the sensation. Dean made a cute little moan of contentment as Sam continued the scalp massage.

It wasn’t long before Dean was sleeping soundly. Sam moved his hand to Dean’s arm, rubbing his hand up and down, enjoying the feeling of the taut muscles under Dean’s flannel shirt. Sam drove like that for hours, glad for the contact with his brother.

Around dinner time, Sam found a motel and pulled into the lot. He gently woke Dean up. “Gonna get us a room, Dean.”

Dean sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Ok, Sammy.” Dean waited in the car until Sam jumped back in with their room key. Sam drove them to the end room and parked. They jumped out, grabbed their gear and went into the room.

They went to a diner across the street and had dinner. For the first time in a long while, the conversation was easy and they even laughed. After dinner, they returned to the room and got ready for bed. Each man went to his own bed and slid under the sheets.

Sam was pleased with the way the day went. He wished Dean were in his arms, but at this point, he would take easy camaraderie and tentative contact over anger, silence and physical distance. 

“Night, Dean…” Sam said as he turned on his side, plumping his pillow and settling in.

“Night, Sammy.” Dean called over from his bed. He missed Sam’s touch and the feeling of warmth he got when they were close. Dean turned on his side and looked at the wall. His thoughts were whirling about and he was having a hard time shutting off his brain. Ten minutes later, Dean sighed and sat up. He then stood and crossed the room.

He looked down at Sam, who was sleeping lightly. It would be a while before he was truly in a deep sleep. “Sammy.” Dean whispered.

Sam rolled over and looked up at Dean. “Something wrong, Dean?” Sam asked, struggling to sit up.

“Yeah.” Dean replied as he slid into bed next to Sam. “Sleeping apart is wrong… I think.”

Sam laid back and pulled Dean to him. “Yeah… I think so, too, Dean.”

Dean relaxed into his brother’s embrace and felt his heart lighten almost immediately. This was right. This was true, no matter what else happened.

“Night, Sammy.” Dean said again as he laid his head on Sam’s shoulder. Sam kissed his forehead gently.

“Night, Dean.” 


	6. The Curious Case of Dean Winchester

Dean waited for Sam to return from getting his booster shot. He had watched Bobby drive away, thinking about everything he and Sam had learned about Bobby’s mental state over the last two days. When Sam came walking through the parking lot, Dean slid off the Impala and met him at the trunk. When Sam finished stowing his gear, he shut the trunk lid and turned to go to the passenger side of the car. 

Dean reached out and grabbed Sam by the arm. “Wait, Sammy.”

Sam turned and looked at Dean. “Yeah?”

Dean still held onto Sam’s arm. “Thanks… for beating Patrick, undoing my deal… the whole bit. You did a great job. You saved us all.”

Sam felt a warmth rush through him. “You’re welcome, Dean. I was glad to do my part.”

“I’m sorry I tend to underestimate you, Sammy.” Dean said ruefully. “I should know better… but this… being equal thing, trying to break the habit of being your older brother… sometimes it’s hard, man.”

Sam moved forward and hugged Dean quickly. “Just sometimes?” he said with a chuckle.

Dean pulled Sam back as he started to pull away. Dean cupped Sam’s face with his hands, looking into his brother’s eyes. Dean slowly closed the gap between them and placed a soft kiss on Sam’s mouth. “Yeah… sometimes.” Dean whispered.

Sam looked at his brother. Dean noted hope washing over his face, putting a light in his eyes that had been missing for too long now. Dean pulled Sam back and gave Sam a more thorough kiss. Sam let out a low groan deep in his throat as he tightened his hold on Dean. 

“Dean…” Sam murmured against his brother’s lips.

Dean wound his fingers through Sam’s hair, smashing their lips together as he continued kissing his brother. Sam growled as he walked Dean backwards into the car, pushing him up against the rear passenger door. Sam slid his leg between Dean’s so he could press his hips forward. Sam moaned when he felt Dean’s cock, hard against his own.

“Fuck…” Dean said as he broke the kiss. He pushed his hips into Sam’s, grinding their cocks together. Dean grabbed Sam’s face and kissed him passionately. “Missed this, Sammy… so fucking much…” Dean groaned as Sam slid his tongue across Dean’s lower lip.

Sam was breathing hard as he looked down into Dean’s eyes. “Me, too… god… Dean…”

Dean grabbed Sam’s ass and pulled him closer. “You still have that room key, Sammy?” Dean rasped out before kissing Sam senseless.

“Yeah…” Sam panted as he grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled him back toward the room.

Dean check his watch as Sam led him back to the room. “We got 2 hours, Sammy, before check out.” Dean thought briefly about all the time they’d wasted. Again. He wondered if they’d ever stop squandering their time together. He didn’t want to know the answer or reflect more on it.

Sam whipped open the door and pulled Dean in after him, pushing him up against the wall. He gave Dean a heated look before kissing him with all the pent up passion he’d held inside for months. “Then let’s not waste it.”

Dean began stripping off his clothes. “Let’s not waste any of it.” Dean said pointedly as he reached for Sam.


	7. I Believe the Children Are Our Future

Sam and Dean drove away from Alliance, Nebraska. They were in agreement for once about wishing that they didn’t know about all the bad things that went bump in the night.

“You know, Sammy…” Dean started talking abruptly. “When we were kids… I always wanted to protect you from the truth. It killed me when you read Dad’s journal and I had to tell you it was all true.”

Sam looked at Dean, his face a mask of sympathy. “I know how hard that was for you, Dean. I remember the look on your face as I cried.” Sam sighed. “We never really had a childhood, and we certainly never had the chance for any… innocence. I always hated that you had to grow up so soon.”

Dean reached over and took Sam’s hand in his. “And I always hated that I couldn’t protect you better. Especially when I was 12, 13, 14… that was tough… I wasn’t big enough or strong enough to really defend you, but your safety was my responsibility…” Dean swallowed noisily. “I was always afraid I was going to fuck up, Sammy.”

Sam wrapped Dean’s hand up in both of his. “You did great, Dean.” Sam smiled through the tears welling in his eyes. “Honestly… you were the best big brother ever.” Sam wiped at an errant tear. “And I knew it, ya know? The kids in my classes? None of them had a big brother who was as awesome as mine.”

Dean smiled at Sam. It was a genuine smile, full of love. “Did you really think that, Sammy?”

Sam leaned across the seat to kiss Dean’s cheek softly. “I still do, Dean.” Sam whispered before retreating.

Dean swallowed past the lump in his throat. Sam could always touch him in ways that no one else could. He squeezed Sam’s hand and then tugged until Sam started to slide his way. When Sam was next to him, Dean wrapped his arm around his brother.

Sam reached up and twined his fingers with Dean’s over his shoulder, saying nothing; he just let the closeness to his brother wash over him.

Dean cleared his throat. “So… I did ok by you, Sammy?” Dean needed to hear it again because he’d spent so much time thinking about how he’d failed Sam over and over since they were kids.

Sam slid his hand onto Dean’s thigh, squeezing gently. “You did more than ok, Dean. Honestly… I couldn’t have asked for a better big brother, a better mentor or a better friend.” Sam left his hand on Dean’s thigh and scrunched down a little to fit his head under Dean’s chin.

Dean rested his head against Sam’s, feeling good for the first time in a long while.

“Dean.” Sam said quietly. 

“Yeah, Sammy?”

“Thanks.” 

“For what?” 

Sam turned his head and placed a feather-light kiss on Dean’s neck. “For everything.”


	8. Changing Channels

Sam and Dean crawled into bed, exhausted from their days of living through Gabriel’s little funhouse of TV shows.

Sam pulled Dean against him, holding him close, breathing him in. Dean sighed contentedly. He was exactly where he wanted to be.

“So… someone has a thing for Dr. Sexy, huh?” Sam squeezed Dean as he teased him.

Dean raised himself on his elbow and looked at Sam, smiling. Dean leaned forward and kissed Sam, sliding his tongue into his brother’s mouth, softly stroking Sam’s tongue and lips with it. Sam moaned as Dean bit his bottom lip before drawing back. He brought his hand to Sam’s face, using a finger to softly trace his eyebrows, his cheek, his lips. 

“Don’t know if you noticed, Sammy, but Dr. Sexy has a luxurious head of chestnut brown hair with bangs that sometimes fall into his eyes. He’s also incredibly smart and capable…” Dean kissed Sam and then looked into his eyes. “Does that remind you of anyone?”

Sam’s breath caught at the implication. Dean wanted him… found him attractive… sexy. It had never occurred to Sam that their connection was more than just what they had between them… whatever it was… for Dean. 

What Dean was revealing to him is that he found his male body and the way he looked to be a turn on. 

Sam had thought it was just him. He’d always found Dean to be incredibly… hot… and sexy. Especially the summer before he’d left for Stanford… that’s when he’d really started to notice just how hot Dean was. 

Sam needed to be inside Dean. Right now.

Dean was startled when Sam flipped him onto his back. “Whoa!” Dean said in surprise.

Sam smiled as he reached over to the nightstand, grabbing the lube. He looked into Dean’s eyes as he began prepping him. It had been so long since he’d been inside Dean… since before he’d killed Lilith.

Sam used his tongue to penetrate Dean’s mouth as he slid his finger inside him. Dean moaned, pushing himself against Sam’s hand. “Yeah… Sammy…” 

Sam broke their kiss in order to look into Dean’s eyes as he slid a second finger inside of him. He gently stretched Dean open and changed the angle a bit until hit Dean’s prostate, causing Dean to throw back his head with a groan. “Oh god… Sammy… please…”

“Do you want me, Dean?” Sam asked, his voice low and intense.

Dean nodded as he took a third finger inside him…. “Fuck yes, Sammy.”

Sam continued fucking his brother with his fingers, watching Dean’s need grow. “Tell me.”

Dean lifted his head off the pillow, his face was flushed and he was starting to pant. “Sammy…” Dean’s voice was thick with need. “Please… need you inside me… Want you so much…” 

Dean dropped his head and moaned as Sam slid his fingers out of him, leaving him empty. “Sammy, please…” Dean whispered.

Sam rolled onto his back. “Ride me, Dean.” 

Dean scrambled to his knees and straddled his brother. He reached behind him to stroke Sam’s cock. Sam closed his eyes and moaned at the contact.

“Open your eyes, Sammy.” Dean wanted his brother’s eyes on him. Sam did as he was asked.

As they looked into each other’s eyes, Dean slowly took Sam’s cock inside him, lowering himself until he could go no further. Dean closed his eyes and threw his head back as he started riding Sam’s cock. Sam looked up, watching his brother fuck himself, taking Sam’s cock so deep into the tight, wet heat of his ass.

Sam’s eyes traveled over Dean’s form… taut stomach muscles flexed in time with Dean’s movements, a bead of sweat running down the side of his face… his face full of need and want and desire and… love. Sam grabbed Dean’s hands, weaving their fingers together. 

“So beautiful, Dean…” Sam’s voice was full of lust and love. It was intoxicating to Dean just to hear it.

Dean looked down at Sam, letting him see just how much he needed Sam inside him. Dean leaned forward, pushing Sam’s hands above his head. 

“Love you, Sammy…” Dean said before kissing his brother. He devoured his brother’s mouth as he increased the pace of his thrusts. Sam could feel Dean’s cock between them, hard, oozing precome that helped Dean glide better against him.

Sam began thrusting up into Dean, needing to feel them come together. Dean moaned with every thrust, his breaths becoming shallower as he neared orgasm. “Gonna come, Sammy…” Dean whispered into his brother’s mouth.

Sam gasped as Dean slammed himself down on his cock. Sam thrust his hips to meet Dean halfway. He knew neither of them would last long at this pace. They were kissing and panting and moaning together. When Sam felt Dean contract around him when he came, he let out a long moan, letting his own orgasm overtake him. 

They kissed languidly as they came down, Dean still holding Sam’s hands above his head, their bodies molded together, growing sticky with come.

Eventually Sam rolled them onto their sides, still kissing his brother – his lips, his eyes, his neck… Dean letting Sam love him as only Sam could. 

“Jesus, Dean…” Sam breathed out. “That was… amazing… god… it was so…”

“Pure.” Dean whispered. “It felt pure, right?”

Sam nodded. “Yeah… Dean… that’s it exactly.”

Dean placed his hand over Sam’s heart, thinking about how much he loved his brother. Sam held Dean tight, wishing he never had to let him go. 

“Love you so much, Dean.” Sam whispered as he began to drift off to sleep with Dean in his arms.

When Sam was asleep, Dean raised himself up to look at his brother. He’d been thinking about how much he loved him… beyond reason. And then he’d realized that there was something more. He didn’t just love Sam. No. 

Somewhere along the way, Dean had fallen in love with Sam. Dean sighed as he laid his head back on Sam’s shoulder. It hadn’t even occurred to him that he could fall in love with his brother. 

And now, he didn’t know what to do with that, except keep it to himself.


	9. The Real Ghostbusters

As Sam and Dean drove away, leaving Becky, Chuck and the convention behind them, Dean thought about what Demian and Barnes had said about “Supernatural” – most especially what they’d said about having a brother like he and Sam had in each other.

He also didn’t miss the irony in Demian and Barnes being more than friends. Dean found it fitting. In fact, he wondered if it was a sign… not from an absent god, but from the universe, that Sam and Dean were meant to be together. Dean really loved the thought of that.

Dean guided the Impala down the road, his brother at his side, feeling satisfied.

Sam looked over at Dean, who looked much happier than he’d expected he would after the convention experience. 

“What’s going on in that head of yours, Dean?” Sam asked with a smile.

Dean returned Sam’s smile, reaching for Sam as he did so. Sam slid across the seat and pressed himself against his brother. Dean planted a kiss on Sam’s head. “Just feeling good, Sammy.”

Sam brought Dean’s hand to his lips, kissing it gently. “Wanna tell me more?”

Dean nuzzled Sam’s cheek with his own. “Ok… well, those two guys playing us… the ones who helped us?”

Sam leaned back so he could see Dean better. “Yeah?”

“Well, they said something that really resonated with me.” Dean paused. “The shorter one… Barnes his name was. He said… who wouldn’t want our lives? He said that to get to wake up every morning and save people and have a brother you’d die for… well, that it was something everyone would want.”

Sam stayed quiet, thinking about what Dean had said.

Dean continued. “So… suddenly I realized that I’ve missed the forest for the trees. Or maybe the tree for the forest. We should feel grateful for our lives, Sammy. For each other… always. We shouldn’t have times of tension between us.”

Sam kissed the corner of Dean’s mouth. “I agree with all of that, Dean. I just… I just think that it’s hard for us to remember that sometimes when we’re in the thick of things.”

Dean looked at Sam questioningly. He had thought that Sam would be as happy as he was when he thought about what Barnes had said. 

Sam could see Dean begin to lose his happy demeanor. 

“What I mean…” Sam started, holding Dean’s hand tightly in his own. “Is that he was right, Dean… of course he was… all I’m saying is that we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves for letting other things get in the way sometimes. It’s easy to take things for granted… but with Barnes’ insight… maybe we can use that to remind ourselves. If it happens again, I mean.”

Dean understood what Sam was saying so he smiled at his brother. “I hear ya, Sammy.”

Sam smiled and relaxed, keeping Dean’s hand in his own. “I love you, Dean.”

Dean got butterflies in his stomach, like he always did when Sam told him he loved him. “Love you, too, Sammy.” Dean said, hoarse with emotion.

A few miles later, Dean spoke. “I almost forgot to tell you… those guys who were, uh… larping us? They’re a couple, Sammy.”

Sam looked over at Dean in surprise. “They’re gay?”

Dean chuckled. “Totally gay for each other, man. All day long. Ironic, right?”

Sam smiled. “Absolutely.”

Dean looked at Sam. “Kiss me.”

Sam leaned over and kissed Dean’s lips, licking at them softly before breaking away with a smile. 

Dean sighed and moved his arm to pull Sam closer. “I think it’s fate, Sammy… you and me. No matter if it’s us or someone pretending to be us… we’re together. I think… don’t laugh… but I think we’re soul mates.”

Sam looked at Dean in surprise. “Why would I laugh at that?”

Dean looked away, blushing. “Cuz that shit is sappy. Especially coming from me.”

Sam kissed Dean again, stroking his thumb over Dean’s cheek. “I love it when you’re sappy.”

Sam nestled back against Dean and they drove, content to be exactly where they were, into the sunset.


	10. Abandon All Hope... (Intermission)

Ellen and Jo threw their gear onto the motel chairs. While Jo rummaged around in her duffel, prepping for the show down in the morning, Ellen took her toiletry bag and went into the bathroom.

Ellen closed her eyes as she closed the door to the bathroom. She was terrified of what tomorrow would bring. She wasn’t afraid for herself; she’d lived her life. But Jo… that was different. She didn’t belong here. She shouldn’t be hunting.

Ellen turned and set her bag on the counter. She grabbed her toothbrush and began prepping for bed. Her first attempt at brushing her teeth had ended with a glob of toothpaste in the bowl of the sink. Her hands were shaking so hard, she’d shook the wad of toothpaste right off the brush.

Ellen took a few deep breaths, calming herself. She knew she had to be strong for her daughter and the boys. They all were going to be in mortal danger tomorrow and she had to be mentally prepared for that. 

After brushing her teeth and washing her face, Ellen returned to the main room. Jo was sitting on her bed, looking down at the carpet, expressionless.

“Jo?” Ellen was concerned about Jo’s demeanor.

Jo looked up her mother and gave her a tight lipped smile. “I’m ok, mom.”

Ellen went and sat on the bed next to Jo, wrapping her arm around her only child. She pressed a soft kiss to Jo’s temple. “It’s ok if you’re scared, Jo. I am.”

Jo nodded as she leaned into her mother. “I know.” Jo whispered. “Whatever goes down tomorrow, I’m ready. We’ve gotta do our part to try to stop the apocalypse before it’s too late.”

Ellen rubbed her hand up and down Jo’s arm. “You just stay safe tomorrow, ok? You let me and the boys take the lead and try to keep yourself out of harm’s way.”

Jo sat up and shifted so she could look at her mom. “I know you want to protect me, mom. But I’m an adult. I’ve known about this life since I was little. We all know there are risks. If something happens to me… you have to go on, ok? And I’ll do the same if something happens to you. Promise me you won’t give up.”

Ellen smiled at Jo through her tears. “Of course. I promise.” 

Ellen knew that was a promise she would never keep if something happened to Jo. She knew that if she had to watch her child die, she would find a way to take a few of the bad guys out as she took herself out, too.

Ellen kissed Jo’s cheek. “Let’s get some sleep, ok?”

Ellen and Jo slid between the sheets in their beds and Ellen turned out the light.

In the room next door, Dean and Sam were kissing passionately, terrified that tomorrow might be the end. Again.

As their passion increased, Dean reached for the lube and began prepping Sam. Sam gave into his emotions and moaned and whimpered for Dean’s touch, begging his brother to transport him, however briefly, to somewhere where the apocalypse didn’t matter.

When the first moans and groans echoed through Jo and Ellen’s room, they stirred and rubbed their eyes, looking for a source. It wasn’t long before they realized that the noises were coming from the Winchester’s motel room.

When Sam shouted “Oh god… fuck… Dean…” as he came, Ellen and Jo looked at one another across their room, their eyes wide with shock and surprise.

Ellen cleared her throat. “Well… I gotta say, that explains a lot…”

Jo, thinking about the night she had tried to sleep with Dean – when he’d pushed her off and said there was someone else – nodded in agreement. “Yeah… although I can honestly say I did not see that coming.”

Ellen fluffed her pillow and grunted when Dean’s shout of “Jesus Christ… Sammy… yeah…” wafted through the wall.

“Well,” Ellen said, “Hopefully things will quiet down over there now…”

“Yeah.” Jo said, preoccupied with thoughts of what was happening next door. At first she’d been shocked and then she’d been a bit disgusted… and then she’d been jealous. All this time, harboring feelings for Dean… and Dean never had eyes for anyone but Sam. There had definitely been no way she could compete with that.

Ellen looked over at Jo. “So… tomorrow… we’ll just act like we didn’t hear a thing tonight, ok?”

Jo stared at the ceiling. “Do you think… do you think Bobby knows?”

Ellen considered the question. “I would think… he’d have to, wouldn’t he? They spend an awful lot of time with him, and I gotta admit, after that one night they slept off their drunkenness out back… I think part of me intuited that there was something… other… to their relationship.”

Jo nodded and turned to face the wall. “Yeah…” Jo sighed, knowing there was no hope for anything between her and Dean. Not ever. “Night, mom.”

“Night, Jo.” Ellen said softly. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.” Jo whispered back, her heart heavy with the loss of her one secret desire.

Next door, Sam held Dean against him, whispering words of love and devotion. Dean kissed Sam’s shoulder, and whispered his own declarations of love. Neither realized that their secret was no longer a secret – at least not with Ellen and Jo.


	11. Abandon All Hope... (Postlude)

With tears shimmering in their eyes, Sam, Dean and Bobby watched the group photo of them with Ellen and Jo burn in the fire. Bobby was the first to move away. Dean stood next to Sam. As the photo burned and the visages of Ellen and Jo were consumed, Dean reached over and threaded his fingers through Sam’s.

Sam moved closer to lean his head against Dean’s. “I can’t believe they’re gone, Dean.” Sam said quietly.

Dean squeezed Sam’s hand. “I know.” Dean closed his eyes, causing the tears that had welled there to slide down his cheeks. “They were so brave.” Dean turned to pull Sam into a hug, needing his brother’s arms around him.

Sam was thankful for the contact. He could hear Bobby in the kitchen, clunking around. “Maybe we should help Bobby.” Sam whispered.

Dean pulled back a little. “In a minute.” Dean cupped Sam’s face and kissed him, pressing his lips solidly against Sam’s, leaving them there without deepening the kiss. He was thankful to still be able to have Sam to kiss.

Sam stepped back. “Bobby… he might see.”

Dean pulled Sam back against him, capturing his lips in another kiss, needing the contact. “Bobby knows, Sammy. About us. It’s ok.”

Sam stepped back, looking at Dean in shock. “What? Since when? How?”

Dean led Sam to the couch. “Sit, Sammy.”

Sam did as Dean instructed and Dean took a seat next to him. Dean kept Sam’s hands in his. “So, I don’t really know how long he’s known… other than he said he saw hints of it when we hit puberty… but he told me he knew when you were detoxing… so…”

Sam looked at Dean in shock. “You’ve known he knows for… almost a year… and you never said anything?”

Dean looked down, realizing that keeping that little tidbit from Sam had been a truly bad miscalculation. “Um… yeah, Sammy… I’m sorry… you’re right, I should have said something.”

Sam stood up and ran a hand through his hair. He felt angry. And hurt. And ashamed. 

“How could you keep something like that from me?” Sam asked incredulously.

Dean stood and reached for Sam. “I’m sorry, Sammy.”

Sam looked at Dean and shook his head. He couldn’t believe that Dean had never said a word.

“You could have told me a thousand different times, Dean.” Sam stated flatly.

Dean looked down and then up into Sam’s eyes. “I know… I meant to but there was always something happening, some new twist and… it wasn’t a big deal to Bobby so…”

Dean stepped forward and took Sam’s hands in his. “I’m sorry.” Dean whispered as he reached for Sam.

Sam let Dean pull him into a hug. He was stunned. When he found his voice again, he asked, “So… what did Bobby say, Dean?”

Dean kissed Sam’s cheek. “He said we shouldn’t be ashamed.”

“Really?” Sam whispered, letting his body relax.

“Yeah, Sammy… really.” Dean said, holding Sam tighter. “Please don’t be mad at me, Sammy. I need you right now… I couldn’t stand it if you were mad at me on top of losing Jo and Ellen.”

Sam pulled back and took Dean’s face in his hands, looking into his brother’s eyes. “Don’t keep stuff from me, Dean. Please.”

Dean nodded as Sam kissed him, loving Dean’s lips with his own. Sam pulled Dean against him and held him tight as he deepened the kiss. Dean made a little whimpering sound as Sam’s tongue slid across his lower lip. Sam growled lowly in response, pulling Dean closer. Dean reached up and threaded his fingers through Sam’s hair, sealing their lips together.

Sam and Dean were completely lost in one another but quickly jumped apart when Bobby cleared his throat. “You two gonna kiss your way through the apocalypse, or do you wanna break bread and remember our fallen? I made us some grub. Comfort food.”

Sam blushed furiously while Dean rubbed his back. “Be right there, Bobby.” Dean responded.

Bobby looked at the boys. They were all he had left. “No hurry… it’s ok if you… need each other right now. I get it.”

Sam looked at Bobby in surprise. 

“Sam, it’s ok.” Bobby said, meeting Sam’s eyes with a look of understanding. 

Sam nodded. “Thanks, Bobby.”

Bobby spun his chair around and said one last thing before leaving the room. “And don’t be mad at Dean for not telling you I knew. I don’t think you needed to know until now.” With that, Bobby rolled back into the kitchen.

Sam pulled Dean back into his arms, needing the contact. “It’s ok, Dean. I’m stunned by this… but not angry. I wanted to be… but I get it, ok?”

Dean kissed Sam again, letting it linger and wanting to take things so much further. But now wasn’t the time. “Let’s go eat, huh? I think Bobby needs us right now, too.”

Sam nodded and followed Dean into the kitchen. 

Bobby smiled at his boys as they entered the kitchen holding hands. He was glad they were there, and he was glad they had each other.


	12. Sam, Interrupted

“Come on, man… are you with me?” Dean asked, his eyes begging Sam to be with him.

Sam looked as his brother. In his arms was the only place Sam could find solace. “I’m with you.” 

Dean nodded, understanding that Sam had things they’d need to discuss. “Good. Let’s get out of here.”

Sam nodded. “Ok.”

The ran to the Impala and got into the car. Dean immediately started it and drove them away from the mental hospital, the wraith and Martin Creaser. Dean had every intention of getting Sam as far away from Ketchum, Oklahoma as he could.

Hours later, Dean shook Sam awake. “Got us a motel room, Sammy. Let’s go.”

Sam rubbed the sleep from his eyes with the palms of his hands. He released the door and swung it open and climbed out of the car. Dean was waiting for him at the door of the room, holding it open so Sam could pass through.

Sam kissed Dean’s cheek as he passed, glad to be away from that mental hospital, but still unable to forget the doctor’s observation about just how angry Sam actually was deep down inside.

In silence, they brushed their teeth in tandem and then slid into bed together. Dean pulled Sam against him, wanting to be the one who did the holding tonight.

“Dean.” Sam’s voice was quiet in the silence of the room.

“Yeah, Sammy?”

“I’m sorry about losing it earlier.” Sam was more worried about revealing too much, but he couldn’t say that to Dean.

“It’s okay, Sammy.” Dean whispered back. “We’re being put through the wringer and I’m mad, too, so I get it.”

Sam sighed and slid his arm across Dean’s stomach. “I’m so glad I have you, Dean. I can’t do this – any of this – without you.”

Dean kissed the top of Sam’s head. “Feel the same about you, Sammy. Always.”

Sam sighed and let his anger and worry drain away. He was safe now in Dean’s arms.

“I got ya, Sammy.” was the last thing Sam heard before drifting off to sleep.


	13. Swap Meat

“Come on, man… turn it down.” Sam said, a look of annoyance on his face.

Dean shook his head, sighing, turning down the music before backing the Impala onto the street. “Welcome back, Kotter.”

Sam looked over at Dean. “Did you like me better when Gary was in my body?” Sam was half kidding, but part of him worried that Dean had preferred him when he wasn’t in his body. But surely Dean would choose him?

Dean looked caught for a moment. “Well… he was a little less moody than you…” Dean let the sentence trail off. “And he ate cheeseburgers with me… and we drank together. It was… fun. But he wasn’t you, Sammy. ”

Sam barked out a laugh. “Oh man… that’s a lot to live up to, Dean.” Sam smiled to show Dean that he wasn’t mad. He understood that he could be overly sensitive at times. But so could Dean… and Dean knew that, too.

“It was weird, Sammy.” Dean said, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he did when he was pensive. “At first, I wanted to believe you were… relaxing a little, finding joy in some of the small things because we don’t get much joy. And then you went off with that woman…”

Sam looked over at Dean with shock on his face. “What woman?”

Dean had forgotten Sam hadn’t been possessed, he’d been swapped. “Uh yeah… I think little Gary used your body for baser things, Sammy. And I admit – I was jealous… I couldn’t believe how callous you were about picking her up right in front of me.”

“Sorry…” Sam said, although he had nothing to be sorry about. He just felt compelled to apologize. He wouldn’t want to watch Dean pick up some random woman right in front of him so he could imagine how hard that had been to see.

“So I started thinking about all the weirdness… and I realized that you weren’t you. And you know the rest.”

Sam looked at Dean. “Hey… we didn’t uh… do anything while I wasn’t in my body, did we?”

Dean looked at Sam in shock. “Shit, Sam. I didn’t even think of what could have happened there. No… you went off with that woman, I stayed at the bar, nursing a beer and my hurt feelings, and then you came back and you were going to shoot me… but I was waiting for you… er… him. Not you. Gary.”

Sam nodded. “Good.” Sam hated the thought of Dean touching someone who wasn’t him. He especially didn’t want Dean’s hands on his body when someone else was in it.

Dean looked at Sam and then looked back at the road. “Just so ya know, Sammy… I… uh… well, I love you just the way you are, ok? There isn’t anyone else I want sitting next to me, griping about my music collection and nagging me about eating vegetables. I will take you as you are.”

Sam reached over for Dean’s hand. “Thanks, Dean.” Sam smiled at his brother as he made himself comfortable. Dean smiled back at Sam, glad to have his brother back.

They drove on for a while, a comfortable silence between them as the miles clicked by. Eventually, Sam wanted to be closer to Dean so he slid over and snuggled up against Dean. 

Dean turned his head and kissed Sam’s cheek. “Hi.”

Sam turned and placed a soft, wet kiss on Dean’s neck. “Hi yourself.” Sam breathed out as he nibbled at Dean’s soft skin just under his jaw.

“Mmmm… Sammy.” Dean whispered. “I missed you.”

Sam turned and licked his way up Dean’s neck to his earlobe, biting it gently as he ran his hand up Dean’s inner thigh. “Missed you, too.” Sam whispered back as he began unbuckling Dean’s belt.

Dean spread his legs a bit and turned his head, keeping his eyes forward on the road. “Kiss me.”

Sam pressed his lips against Dean’s and then slid his tongue over Dean’s lips and into his mouth. Dean groaned as Sam popped the button on his jeans. Sam dragged his tongue down Dean’s neck and gently bit down on the muscle underneath Dean’s skin. Sam slid his hand into Dean’s boxers and took his hardening cock in his hand.

“I fucking love touching you.” Sam moaned as Dean’s cock grew harder in his hand. “I wanna blow you right now.”

Dean’s eyelids fluttered with desire. “Yeah… fuck… Sammy… want that, too.” Dean’s voice quivered as Sam began stroking him.

As Sam swiped his thumb across the tip of Dean’s cock, he whispered. “Gonna suck you down, Dean. And you’re gonna keep your eyes on the road while I devour you… until your come is flooding my mouth.” 

Dean groaned, fighting to keep his eyes on the road. “Please…”

Sam wedged himself in between the dashboard and the floor and then took Dean’s cock deep into his hot, wet mouth. Dean moaned as he threaded his fingers through Sam’s hair. Sam’s head began to bob and Dean had to keep reminding himself to watch the road as his brother worked his cock over with his lips, tongue and throat. 

The suction was delicious and every time Dean’s cock would hit the back of Sam’s throat, Sam hummed appreciatively and Dean could feel his tongue swirling and dipping and licking… Sam was driving him crazy. Dean was struggling to maintain a constant speed as Sam continued his magic. Dean had to fight the urge to throw his head back and just give into Sam’s ministrations.

A car accident wouldn’t be a good thing right now, especially when they had an apocalypse to stop.

As Dean’s orgasm approached, he instinctively tightened his hold on Sam’s hair. Sam moaned and doubled down on the suction and speed, waiting for Dean’s release. Dean’s hips were rolling and he had no control over the moans and gasps coming out of him as his climax neared.

“Sammy…” Dean gasped, “Gonna… gonna… oh fuck… god… gonna… ugggnnnggg…” Dean let out a strangled shout as his come flooded Sam’s mouth. 

Sam’s eyes were closed as he stroked Dean through his orgasm, sucking down every drop of his brother’s come. 

Sam placed a gentle kiss on Dean’s softening cock and then maneuvered himself out of the much-too-small space between the dashboard and the bench seat. He leaned over and gave Dean a lingering kiss.

Dean gave Sam a wrecked smile. “Fuck… Sammy… that was amazing…” Dean breathed out. 

Sam slid back on the bench seat, still facing Dean, as he leaned back against the passenger door.

Sam smiled back at Dean as he unbuckled his belt. And then he unbuttoned his jeans as Dean kept sneaking looks.

“Sammy…” Dean whispered. “What’re you…” Dean gasped as Sam took his hard cock out of his boxers and began stroking himself.

Sam bit his bottom lip as he openly jacked himself off in front of Dean. Dean darted glances in Sam’s direction every few seconds, taking in the debauched picture that was his little brother.

Sam waited until Dean was looking at him to swirl a finger through his precome. Dean swallowed audibly as Sam leaned forward and held his finger out for Dean. Dean glanced at the road and then leaned to the side, sucking Sam’s precome-covered finger into his mouth.

Dean moaned as Sam’s taste flooded his tongue. “God… Sammy…”

Sam leaned back and continued stroking himself. “Wanna have you inside me later, Dean…” Sam voice was low and full of heat. “Wanna ride your cock… feel you deep, deep inside me…” 

“Yeah… hell, yes, Sammy…” Dean agreed with that plan. Sam had some very good ideas, in Dean’s opinion.

Sam leaned forward and took Dean’s hand in his, pulling it toward him. He helped Dean wrap his fingers around his cock and then covered Dean’s hand with his own, setting the pace.

Sam used Dean’s hand to get himself off, stroking, tugging, changing speeds until he was fucking himself up into their entangled hands. Dean moaned as Sam let out a strangled groan, his cock pulsing as his orgasm ripped through him, covering their hands with his come.

Dean swerved, trying to stay in his lane, as Sam lifted Dean’s hand up to his lips and began cleaning it with his tongue. Dean watched Sam lick his own come from his fingers and all he could think about was slamming his cock up into Sam as Sam rode him hard.

“Jesus… fuck… Sammy…” Dean groaned as Sam finished sucking his last finger clean.

Sam leaned across the seat and kissed Dean softly before whispering, “Yeah… fuck is right. You, me, later. You in?”

“Hell yes, Sammy… I’m way in.” Dean breathed out.

Sam smiled at Dean as he did his jeans back up, tucking himself away. At least for now.

Sam winked at Dean. “The sooner, the better, Dean.” Sam’s eyes burned with passion. “I’m not even close to being done with you.”

“Fuck…” Dean whispered as he pressed the accelerator down. He was determined to find a motel. Quickly.

Sam shifted and faced forward in the passenger, a contented smile on his face. He reached over and threaded his fingers through Dean’s and thought about just how much he loved driving the man next to him crazy with need.

Their lives didn’t allow for much happiness these days, so Sam and Dean both cherished these moments more than they could – or would – ever say.

When Sam brought Dean’s hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss in his brother’s palm, Dean looked over at his brother with a smile he reserved just for him.

“Love you, Sammy.” Dean whispered as he turned his eyes back to the road.

“Love you, Dean.” Sam said softly, knowing that if everything else in their lives sucked, what they had together was enough to make him fight to keep it.

Always.


	14. The Song Remains the Same

Sam and Dean threw back their shots, toasting Team Free Will. Cas remained unconscious on the bed.

Sam looked down at Cas. “How long do you think he’s gonna be out?”

Dean looked down at Cas, too. “Don’t know, man.”

Dean looked over at Sam. He wished they were alone. He needed to be with his brother. Alone. Dean briefly entertained the thought of getting another motel room, but finances were always an issue… so, with one last look at Cas, Dean took Sam’s hand and led him to the other bed. “Lay down with me.”

Dean stretched out and held his arms open, inviting Sam in. Sam slid into his brother’s arms, thankful for the contact. His stomach was in knots. He’d met his mother… and his father… and it had been amazing. But then they’d lost the battle with Michael and it had done no good – all their efforts were for naught. They were still going to be born and start the apocalypse. His mother and father were still going to die.

Sam sighed and buried his head deeper under Dean’s chin.

“What if we hadn’t been born, Dean? Do you really think things would be different?” Sam asked pensively. 

Dean thought about it for a few moments. “I don’t know, Sammy. If I had to guess… we aren’t the only family with a bloodline… suitable… for being vessels. If not us, then I suppose it would have just been someone else.”

Sam could not argue with Dean’s logic, so he nodded. “Yeah.”

“No matter what we do, Sammy… we always end up in the same place.” Dean thought about Lucifer… Sam as Lucifer… talking about how nothing they did would change the fact that they would end up in Detroit. 

It scared him. A lot.

Sam rolled onto his back and looked up at the ceiling. “Does it all just seem so… futile… to you?”

Dean rolled on his side and laid his arm across Sam’s stomach, sliding his hand up under Sam’s shirt. “Maybe.”

Sam blinked his eyes rapidly to drive away his tears. Dean watched his brother struggle with his emotions. He often wished he could just take Sam away and leave all these things behind them. When a tear escaped and ran down the side of Sam’s face, Dean gently kissed it away. “Don’t cry, Sammy.”

Sam opened his eyes and looked into Dean’s. Dean saw the panic just below the surface. He leaned down and began kissing Sam slowly, using his tongue to caress Sam’s lips and mouth. Dean laid his hand on the side of Sam’s face and just held it there while he kissed his brother, trying so hard to calm him and make him feel safe.

Sam made a strangled noise in his throat and wrapped his arms around Dean, deepening the kiss, turning it dirty and needy and desperate. Dean pressed his pelvis into Sam’s hip, gently thrusting as he grew harder.

Dean moved his hand from Sam’s face, down his body and the slid it slowly over Sam’s hardening cock. Sam bucked his hips, seeking friction. Dean pressed down and gave Sam what he needed. 

Their passion increased as their bodies ground together. Sam made the little needy noises Dean loved so much, driving him into a frenzy. Dean unbuckled Sam’s pants with one hand as he continued to kiss Sam deeply. As Dean slid his hand inside Sam’s pants, Sam gasped. “Cas!”

Dean pulled away. “Eeew… Sammy… what the fuck?”

Sam panted, looking up at Dean. “Dean… I meant Cas is right there…” Sam pointed to where Cas had been passed out. “Wait… where’s Cas?”

Dean’s cell phone rang. Before Dean could say hello, Cas spoke. “Tell Sam I’m outside. I… um… well, I heard noises and then I saw… so I materialized into the car. I’ll be here. Don’t say my name anymore or I’ll… hear.” Cas hung up before Dean could say anything.

Dean threw his cell on the other bed and rolled on top of Sam. “He’s in the car. He’ll be there til… later.” Dean recaptured Sam’s lips with his and quickly got them back to where they’d been before Sam had said Cas’ name. 

When Sam handed Dean the lube, Dean moaned. “Yeah, Sammy… wanna be inside you so bad…”

Sam spread himself open for Dean. “Need you, Dean. Hurry.”

Dean kissed Sam as his slid his finger deep inside him. “I know.”

Dean always gave Sam what he needed.


	15. My Bloody Valentine

Sam thought long and hard about what Famine had said to Dean about being dead inside. He worried that it was true… that Dean didn’t really love him. That Dean couldn’t love him… because there was nothing inside of him that would allow him to. That his love didn’t fill the empty hole inside his brother.

Sam looked out the passenger window, his shoulders tense and his spirit shredded. He didn’t know which way to turn, so he just turned away.

“Sammy.” Dean said as they drove toward Bobby’s. 

“Yeah?” Sam said flatly. He was sick with worry about his brother and he knew, in return, Dean was sick with worry about him. That’s why they were driving to Bobby’s. Time for another detox. Sam wasn’t going to fight it. He hadn’t meant to fall off the wagon, but he hadn’t counted on the demons letting him loose, so fallen he had. 

And he hadn’t just fallen… he’d cannonballed right into the deep end of the pool.

And he hated himself for it. He couldn’t even look at Dean, he was so ashamed.

“About what Famine said… about me.” Dean paused, gathering his remaining strength. “It’s not true… I’m not dead inside, Sammy… it’s a control I learned in hell. I can just… shut myself down, hide my thoughts, my feelings. It’s how I survived.”

Dean waited a few moments to see if Sam would speak. When Sam said nothing, Dean continued. “I promise I’m not dead inside, Sammy. I feel… I feel love for you. So fucking much love. And I feel your love for me and it does fill me… it… completes me. I’d be lost without it.”

Sam tried to look Dean in the eye. When he found he couldn’t meet his brother’s gaze, he looked at his forehead, his cheeks, instead. “But… Famine said you were empty, Dean. I heard him. And I know it’s my fault, for all I’ve put you through…”

Dean pulled the car over to the side of the road and jumped out, running to the passenger side. He wrenched open the door and fell to his knees in front of Sam. Dean grabbed Sam’s hands in his and looked up at his brother. “No. God… that’s not true, Sammy. Don’t you ever think that way!”

“But Dean…” Sam started. He didn’t finish because Dean lunged up and sealed his lips against Sam’s. 

“No.” Dean said against Sam’s lips. “Stop it.”

Sam turned his face. “Dean… please… you know it’s true!”

Dean grabbed Sam’s face with both hands. “You listen to me little brother.” Dean hissed, equal parts anger and fear. “Hell did this to me. Hell. Do you hear me? Thoughts of you? They were the only thing that got me through and my happiest times? All with you, Sammy. Always. So just stop, ok? I love you… I need you… so please… just listen to me. Just hear me, please.” 

Dean closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Sam’s. “Please, Sammy… I’m begging you to understand what I’m saying.” Dean kissed Sam softly. “Please.”

Sam wrapped his arms around Dean, burying his face in Dean’s neck. Dean was twisted up like a pretzel, trying to lean in the car and not hurt Sam but still hold him close. He didn’t care though. He just needed to get Sam to hear him.

It was a few minutes before Sam spoke. “Ok, Dean… ok. I hear you. Please just get me to Bobby’s now… get this stuff out of me… I don’t want it inside me anymore.”

Dean pulled back and looked at Sam for a long while. Before standing he gently stroked Sam’s cheek. “I love you, Sammy.”

Sam looked back at Dean, his expression full of pain and angst and love and fear. “Love you, too, Dean.”

Dean kissed Sam quickly and went back to the driver’s side. He slid into the car and then slid his hand into Sam’s as he pulled back onto the road.

They’d been through worse, and they’d make it through this, too. That’s what Dean kept telling himself, over and over, all the way to Bobby’s.


	16. Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

_“I’m going to go out on a limb and guess you’ve never been in love.” Karen said, looking at Dean with pity in her eyes. “He’s my husband. It’s my job to bring him peace.”_

As Dean watched the bodies burn, he kept thinking about what Karen had said. And he thought about all the nights he held Sam in his arms, trying so hard to take away his pain, to make him feel safe.

To bring him peace.

Dean had been in love once. 

He was still in love. 

Sam had taught him everything he knew about love.

When they were certain that all the bodies had burned, Dean and Sam walked to the Impala, bidding Sheriff Jody Mills goodbye. Dean threaded his fingers through Sam’s as he pulled onto the road and headed east.

After ten miles had passed, Dean pulled the Impala over onto the side of the road. Sam watched Dean as he looked out into the night. Finally, Dean turned and looked at Sam. It was then Sam saw the tears shimmering in Dean’s eyes.

Without saying a word, Sam moved across the bench seat and drew Dean into his arms.

“It’s ok, Dean.” Sam whispered. He wasn’t certain what was wrong, but Dean needed to be held and Sam wanted to give him what he needed.

Sam wanted to bring him peace.

Dean held onto his brother and just let all of Sam’s love wash over him. For so long, his brother’s love was the only thing in his life that could soothe him and he felt it doing its work now, just as he’d known it would.

Dean turned his head and kissed Sam’s neck softly, causing Sam to hold him just a bit tighter. As Dean pulled back, Sam stayed close, still craving the feeling of his brother’s body heat mingling with his own.

Dean blinked and looked at Sam. With both hands, he framed Sam’s face, using his thumbs to softly stroke over Sam’s cheekbones again and again. Sam looked into Dean’s eyes and waited; he knew Dean would speak if he were patient.

Instead of speaking, Dean leaned forward and pressed his lips against Sam’s, kissing him softly, gently. He kept the kiss slow and loving, making no move to deepen it. Right now, Dean just wanted to tell Sam with his kiss what he was afraid to say with his words.

Sam could feel that this kiss mattered to Dean. That he was sending him a message. What Sam felt was love so he did his best to return Dean’s kisses with love of his own.

When Dean eventually broke the kiss, he leaned back enough to look into Sam’s eyes.

“Karen told me I didn’t understand love, Sammy.” Dean started. “Because I asked her why she hadn’t told Bobby that she remembered everything.” Dean paused. “She told me, as his wife, it was her job to bring Bobby peace.”

Sam nodded to show he understood, but said nothing.

“But I do understand love, Sammy.” Dean said softly. “Because you taught me.”

Sam took Dean’s hands in his own and held them against his heart; over the tattoo that he and his brother shared.

Dean took a deep breath and released it. “I love you, Sammy… and all I want to do is bring you peace.”

Dean swallowed as he hoped Sam understood his message: there was no difference between the way he loved Sam and the way Karen had loved Bobby. It was as close as Dean would allow himself to come to telling Sam that he was in love with him.

Sam was fairly certain he understood the message Dean was trying to give him.

Sam leaned forward and kissed Dean, letting his lips linger against his brother’s. 

“I love you the same way, Dean.” Sam breathed out before kissing Dean again.

Dean wrapped his arms around Sam, his heart soaring as he considered the possibility that Sam might feel the same way Dean did. 

If Sam were in love with him… the way he was in love with Sam… then Dean knew that he could face whatever life would throw his way. He’d never thought that he would find a love like this, let alone with his own brother… but if that’s what they had, then Dean would do everything in his power to make sure that they’d never lose it.

Or each other.


	17. Dark Side of the Moon

Sam awoke in the middle of the night. He was alone in his bed. That wasn’t unexpected, since he’d gone to sleep alone for the first time in a while; what was unexpected was the empty motel room. 

Sam sat up and looked around. “Dean?” He called out but didn’t expect a response. He wasn’t surprised when he didn’t get one.

With a sigh, Sam put his boots on and went to get the motel key. It was missing, so as he departed the room, he flipped the metal door lock over to keep the door slightly ajar, just in case Dean had left him behind. 

Sam waited until his eyes adjusted to the darkness and then he looked around the parking lot.

Dean was on the Impala, leaning back on the windshield and looking up at the stars. Or maybe he had his eyes closed. Sam couldn’t tell from where he was, but he breathed a sigh of relief that Dean hadn’t left him.

Sam knew Dean was hurting. He knew some of his memories while they were in heaven had hurt Dean. Sam wanted nothing more than to make things right between them again.

Sam put his hands in his pockets and exhaled. He then strode across the parking lot and stopped next to the Impala, saying nothing as he waited for Dean to acknowledge him.

Dean turned his head to look at Sam. His brother was so beautiful… tall, with broad shoulders and crazy flowing hair that fell into his eyes at all the wrong times. And some of the right ones, too. Dean gave Sam a half smile and then looked back up at the sky.

Sam waited for Dean to speak. When several moments had passed and Dean still had said nothing, Sam spoke softly. “Can I come up by you?”

“If you want.” was all Dean said.

Sam got situated on the hood, next to Dean. He was careful not to touch Dean; it was clear Dean wasn’t in the mood for that. Sam leaned his head back and looked up at the sky, wondering what Dean saw when he looked at the same patch of sky. 

It was clear now that they didn’t always see things the same way.

“You know what my best memory of childhood is, Dean?” Sam asked softly, letting the words float on the night breeze.

Dean shrugged but said nothing, until he blurted out, “A Thanksgiving with a strange family while I sat back in the motel room, alone? Maybe the times dad and I would leave you alone when we went on a hunt?”

Dean mentally chastised himself. He had come out here to let go of his resentment, not to exacerbate it or give it voice.

Sam closed his eyes against the pain, not his own pain, but Dean’s. He felt terrible about how Dean viewed his portions of their shared heaven.

“It’s you, Dean.” Sam said reverently. “It was always you.” Sam waited a beat before continuing. “You know what you can’t do with a memory like that? Make it a place or just one scene in heaven. Were you listening to Ash, Dean? He basically confirmed your theory about us being soul mates. We didn’t have individual heavens up there, Dean. No… we had a shared heaven, with some of your memories and some of mine. And you know what was the one constant up there for me? You.”

Dean turned his head to look at Sam, the tension and sadness in his eyes began to relax away as he looked at his brother. Sam reached over and threaded his fingers through Dean’s. 

“It’s always been you, Dean.” Sam said softly. “You were the only one I could ever count on, Dean. When I believed in nothing else, I always believed in you. You always found a way to make things ok. It killed me to leave you behind when I went to Stanford. And, when you dropped me back at school – right before Jessica died – I walked up the stairs to my apartment and the whole way up, all I could think of was running back down those stairs and calling you back to me.”

“But I came back for you, Sammy.” Dean whispered. “I told you before, I wasn’t going to take no for an answer. I had to have you, even then.”

Sam looked at Dean in surprise. “Even then?”

Dean scooted up a bit and pulled Sam toward him. “Oh yeah, Sammy. I didn’t know what I was going to say, or how I was going to convince you, but I was ready to lay all my cards on the table if that’s what it took – including the one about how much I wanted you.”

“Dean.” Sam whispered before kissing his brother, taking his time, making sure Dean could feel the love behind his kiss. “Come back to bed with me, ok? I need you.”

Dean pushed back from Sam and slid off the Impala. He turned and held his arms out to help Sam down. “Come on, Sammy.” Dean led Sam back to the room and locked the door behind them. They settled into Sam’s bed, together this time.

Dean pulled Sam against him and began to kiss his brother, softly and gently at first and then he deepened the kiss, taking them higher together, to a place where only they and their love existed. That’s what it felt like to Dean whenever he and Sam were together like this: there was only them and love they shared. In these moments, nothing else mattered.

Dean rolled on top of Sam as he continued to kiss him. They worked at removing each other’s clothes. They slowly rolled their hips together, moving in a rhythm that they’d perfected over the years, their cocks hardening as they ground them together.

As Sam kicked off his boxers, Dean grabbed the lube from the nightstand drawer. He looked into Sam’s eyes to see what he needed. When Dean saw what Sam wanted, he lubed up his fingers and began prepping Sam.

Dean kissed Sam with abandon as he worked his fingers into his brother. He loved feeling Sam like this: desperate for penetration, opening to him… little needy noises and moans telling Dean that Sam wanted everything he was doing to him.

When Sam was ready, Dean slid himself home. He held Sam’s hands above his head, their fingers entwined as they kissed. Dean let Sam’s gasps and physical responses tell him how fast and hard to go. 

Sam wrapped his legs around Dean, knowing how much that would turn Dean on. Dean’s thrusts became harder and faster and they were both moaning as their orgasms got closer and closer. Dean came with a shout and as Sam felt his brother’s cock pulsing deep inside him, he let himself go with a long moan of Dean’s name.

Dean rested his forehead against Sam’s as he worked to get his breathing back under control. “I love you, Sammy.” Dean whispered as he rolled to the side.

Sam reached for Dean, pulling him against him as he whispered, “I love you, Dean.” 

Before he drifted off to sleep, Sam pulled Dean’s hand to him and held it tightly, right over his heart. When Dean awoke in the morning, Sam hadn’t let go.


	18. 99 Problems

In anguish, Sam watched Dean drive off into the night. He had known it was going to happen. He had sensed that the second Dean was out of his sight, he’d bolt. Sam doubled over, in real physical pain from distress.

“Goddamn it!” he yelled to no one in particular, returning himself upright with a burst of anger. He ran his hands through his hair in a panic. He knew he had to calm down so he took several deep breaths and returned to the room. 

“Where’s Dean?” Cas asked as he tended to the pastor.

“Gone.” Sam replied. “And now I gotta figure out where to find him.” Sam rummaged around in his duffel, looking for a map. He felt a hard piece of metal in one of the pockets. He reached in and pulled out the amulet he’d recovered from the trash.

“You saved it.” Cas said, adding nothing more.

Sam stared at the amulet. It had meant so much to both him and Dean… for so many years. It was a part of them both and represented the profound love they had between them. Sam had given it to Dean so many years ago as recognition of the fact that it was always Dean in whom he believed and on whom he counted. Dean had worn it every day since, almost like a brand – a symbol that no matter what, his little brother believed in him.

And now Dean had thrown it away. He let it fall into the trash, right in front of Sam, knowing what it meant and the message it sent to his little brother… Tears welled in Sam’s eyes as he recalled the hopeless look on Dean’s face as he dropped the amulet into the trash. 

He’d lost hope and he’d lost faith. In everything and everyone. Sam knew that Dean had even lost his faith in him. Maybe Dean wished he could have gone back to get the amulet after Sam had explained to him that Dean was his best memory of childhood… or maybe, based on the current state of things, Dean had simply let Sam talk and had believed just enough to get him through the night. 

No… they’d made love. It had been more than just getting through the night.

Unless it had been goodbye…

No, Sam wasn’t going to allow him to even consider that possibility. Dean was gone and Sam had to find him.

“You know what’s ironic, Cas?” Sam said as he packed his duffel. “The angel warding you etched into our ribs. Normally, I think it’s a great idea. Just this once, it would be nice to be able to use your powers to find him.”

Cas suddenly disappeared with Pastor Gideon.

As the wind of his departure blew Sam’s map to the floor, Sam swore. “Fuck!”

Moments later, Cas returned. “Sorry. Had to get the pastor back to his church. So… yes, I get your point about the warding. Seemed like a good idea at the time. How are you going to find him?”

Sam fixed Cas with a steely glare. “Dean knows me better than anyone else on this planet, Cas. But you know what? I know him better than anyone else, too, and that’s how I’m going to find him.”

Cas nodded. “Where do you want to start?”

“Beam us up to Ohio, Cas.” Sam directed. “We can hotwire a car when we get there.”

“I don’t actually beam us up anywhere, Sam. I bend the space-time…” Cas stopped talking and looked at Sam’s exasperated expression. “Um… I’ll just beam us up, as you said.”

Several hours later, Dean stared at Sam’s reflection in the mirror of his motel room with a look of pure shock on his face. “How did you find me?”


	19. Point of No Return

“So screw destiny. Right in the face. I say we take the fight to them. Do it our way.” Dean said, determination radiating from him with every word.

Sam smiled and chuckled. “Sounds good.”

Dean looked back at the road as he slid his hand across the seat, reaching for Sam. Sam twined their fingers together, and smiled down at their joined hands.

“Sammy, I’m sorry that shit is so up and down all the time.” Dean said, shaking his head. “We’re running out of time and I keep fucking everything up.”

Sam couldn’t disagree, so he changed the subject. “So… how was Lisa?”

Dean looked contrite. He didn’t feel the same way about her anymore… not since he and Sam had taken things to where they were now… since he had realized he was in love with Sam. It was the kid… when he imagined himself happy, he was teaching that little boy how to be a man. Deep down, Dean still held out hope that he might even be his. 

Dean said none of this to Sam. 

Instead, he said, “I didn’t sleep with her, Sammy.”

Sam looked at his brother with understanding. “I know you didn’t, Dean.” Sam waited for a moment before saying softly, “I do know what the real attraction there is for you, Dean.”

Dean looked at Sam, afraid to know what he was going to say next.

“It’s Ben, Dean. You don’t think I know that? You basically raised me… and Ben represents a chance for you to… try again, with more stability… if you were given a chance. I think in your mind, it’s a desire to ‘do it right’ this time because you think you failed me. But… you already did it right, Dean.”

Dean looked at Sam, wondering if he could possibly feel that way about his upbringing. Dean saw nothing but truth in Sam’s eyes.

Sam smiled at Dean, his eyes full of love. “You saved Ben’s life, Dean, so of course you would want to say goodbye… maybe make his safety a condition of you saying yes, for example.” Sam let the sentence hang, watching his brother process what he’d just said.

Dean bore another shocked look on his face. “How did you…”

“I’m your brother, Dean. And I love you. More than anything. I know what matters to you.” Sam smiled gently at Dean, squeezing his hand.

Amazed by Sam’s ability to understand him on such a deep level, Dean responded. “Love you, Sammy.” and returned his attention to the road.

As soon as Dean saw a motel with a vacancy, he pulled into the lot and got them a room. The moment they were done unpacking and had brushed their teeth, Dean pushed Sam up against the wall, kissing him frantically. “Need you inside me, Sammy.” Dean moaned into his brother’s mouth. “Please…”

Sam cupped Dean’s face with his hands, slowing the kiss. “Wanna be inside you, Dean…” Sam whispered fervently. “The only thing right about any of this is being with you. Like this.”

Sam led Dean to the bed and kissed him, taking his time as he stripped off his brother’s clothes. Sam loved undressing Dean. He loved knowing that he could touch Dean and that Dean wanted that touch as badly as Sam wanted to give it.

Dean shivered as Sam wrapped his hand around his cock. “Sammy…”

Sam deepened their kiss and began stroking Dean, running his thumb through the precome that had started oozing out at the tip. “So hot, Dean… I love everything about your cock. I can’t get enough of it.” Sam groaned as he tightened his grip on Dean.

Dean gasped and then moaned. Sam had never said anything like that to him – not so boldly. He had always been the one to blurt out things like that – even when he meant to keep them inside. 

Sam noted Dean’s response to his statement and smiled as he continued to kiss him. Sam then laid Dean back on the bed before standing up and looking down at him.

Sam held Dean’s eyes with the intensity of his gaze as he slowly started removing his clothes. Dean watched his brother, overwhelmed by the emotion pouring out of him. Dean could feel it.

As Sam unbuttoned his shirt, he started talking, his voice low and tinged with heat. “I never told you that before, did I, Dean. That I love your cock.” Dean’s eyes widened as Sam continued. “Well… I do. I love wrapping my fingers around it, kissing it, running my tongue over it… swallowing it down, tasting you.” Sam slid his shirt off and onto the floor.

Sam began unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his pants. He took his time, still looking directly into Dean’s eyes. “I love riding your cock, Dean.” Sam said as he slowly unzipped his pants. “Love when you pound your cock deep inside me, filling me with your come.”

Dean closed his eyes and groaned as precome continued to ooze from him. “Sammy… fuck…”

Sam slid his pants to the floor and stood naked before Dean. His cock was hard and precome had gathered at the tip, too. Dean opened his eyes and moaned at the sight of his little brother – so huge and beautiful before him – staring down at him with pure lust on his face. 

“See how hard you make me? How wet?” Sam whispered intently. “Every fucking time… you get me like this and I’m desperate for you… your touch. But you already know that, don’t you.”

Sam reached over and teased the tip of Dean’s cock with his thumb, gathering the precome there and then bringing it to his mouth. Dean watched as Sam licked every drop off, savoring his essence. “You know what else I love, Dean?” Sam asked softly.

Dean couldn’t speak so he just shook his head and waited.

“I love driving my cock into you. I love feeling how soft you are inside. I love getting you all wet and then just sinking myself deep inside you, knowing how much you want it… how much you want me.” 

Dean started panting. His sweet Sammy talking full-on dirty to him might be the death of him. 

Sam grabbed the lube and smiled as Dean watched Sam lube up his fingers. Sam laid down next to Dean and looked down at him. “Spread your legs, Dean.”

Dean did as Sam asked and Sam took his fingers and began to slowly penetrating Dean. As his first finger slid inside his brother, Sam kissed Dean gently. “You know what else I love, Dean?” 

Dean was frantic with need, using his hips to encourage Sam to hurry. “Wha..?” Dean gasped as Sam slid a second finger inside him.

Sam whispered next to Dean’s ear. “Isn’t obvious, Dean?” Sam paused. “You. I love you.”

Dean shut his eyes, holding back a sob. As Sam rolled up and onto him, Dean opened his eyes, letting Sam see everything he was feeling. Sam positioned his cock at Dean’s entrance and then slowly slid deep inside his brother. Once he was as deep as he could get, Sam moved his arms so he could rest on his elbows and cup Dean’s face with his hands.

Sam began slowly thrusting into Dean as they looked into each other’s eyes. Sam started talking softly to Dean, punctuating his points with the thrust of his hips. “I love you, Dean.” Sam’s thrust made Dean moan. “I want you to know something else…” Sam whispered before kissing Dean’s neck. “You’re it for me, Dean… forever. This is all I want. Just you, me and this…”

“Sammy…” Dean said, unable to say more.

Sam picked up the pace of his thrusts, both literally and figuratively driving the point home. “Forever, Dean. I love you, forever.” Sam pounded into Dean, hitting his prostate over and over until Dean was thrashing and coming everywhere, covering them both with hot stickiness.

“Sammy… god… fuck… I love you…” Dean cried out.

A few more thrusts and Sam was coming, too. Deep inside Dean. Sam kissed Dean, slowly, lovingly as they came down from the intensity of their orgasms. Dean was shivering and so Sam gathered him in his arms and rolled onto his back, holding Dean close.

“You ok?” Sam whispered, concerned.

Dean couldn’t put into words how he was feeling. He was just overwhelmed but the intensity between them. “Yeah…” he gasped, his voice quivering.

Sam pressed a kiss to Dean’s temple. “I am so in love with you, Dean.” Sam started to hug Dean closer, but Dean sat up and looked at Sam in surprise.

“What did you say?” Dean asked, his voice full of wonder.

Sam sat up and used his thumb to gently swipe at Dean’s cheek. “I said… I am so in love with you. Dean.” Sam leaned forward and kissed the corner of Dean’s mouth and then leaned back and smiled a soft smile, full of love.

Tears welled in Dean’s eyes. “You’re in love with me?” Dean whispered, wanting to believe but almost unable to process what Sam was saying.

Sam threaded his fingers through Dean’s. “How could I not be, Dean? You’ve been everything to me forever. And since… since we finally accepted what was between us, I’ve done nothing but fall in love with you over and over again.” Sam pressed Dean’s hand to his heart. “There’s just you in here, Dean. No one but you.”

Dean threw himself at Sam, wrapping his arms around him as he sobbed. He couldn’t believe it… His Sammy… in love with him. He’d dreamt of it, he’d wanted it so badly… but it never occurred to him that it would ever happen. 

“Sammy…” Dean sobbed out. “I’m… so in love with you, too… oh god… so much… I love you so much.”

Sam rocked Dean gently, pressing his lips to Dean’s shoulder. “I know you do, Dean. I know.”


	20. Hammer of the Gods

“I feel bad about Gabriel, Dean.” Sam said as he kissed Dean’s shoulder. The brothers were snuggled together in bed, basking in the afterglow of an intense session of acrobatic sex.

Dean rolled to his side and kissed Sam sweetly. “Me, too, Sammy. He was such an asshole to us right from the start, and I never expected much from him. Although, I gotta say, he came through in the end.”

Sam ran his hand up and down Dean’s arm, caressing him gently as he thought about all those gods being slaughtered by Lucifer. They were unable to beat him, Sam thought, so how were he and Dean... 

“Gabriel doing porn was a little creepy though…” Sam said aloud, voicing none of his concerns.

Dean snorted. “Yeah, Sammy… I saw parts of Gabriel I had exactly zero interest in ever seeing.” Dean slid his hand across Sam’s stomach, putting a little pressure behind it, signaling the intent of what he was about to say. 

“You, though, Sammy… I like seeing all of your parts.” Dean kissed Sam’s neck. “I find your parts very interesting…”

Sam pulled Dean close, hugging him fiercely. “My parts are all tuckered out right now, babe.” 

Dean’s heart flip-flopped when Sam used an endearment to refer to him. He still wasn’t used to knowing that Sammy was in love with him. But certainly, the admission had taken the intensity of their love making to whole new levels. 

Dean nuzzled his face against Sam, blushing even though he hadn’t said anything aloud about what he was thinking… he was just embarrassed by his very sappy thoughts. “My parts are all tuckered out, too, Sammy… but that doesn’t mean I don’t find you sexy as hell.”

Sam kissed Dean. “I wish you knew how much I love you, Dean.” Sam whispered. “I can never find the right words…”

Dean buried his face in Sam’s neck. “Sammy… I do know. I promise. And most days, it’s the only thing that gets me through.”

Sam kissed Dean’s temple, thinking about how they were both so lucky and so fucked right now. It was a weird juxtaposition… being so happy together like they were right at this moment and then, in the morning, they’d be back to trying to find a way to stop the apocalypse. It was disconcerting.

“Dean…” Sam started, “I think we’re going to have to make some tough choices soon. One, or maybe both of us, might die trying to stop this thing.”

“I know.” Dean whispered, hoping that Sam was wrong – that they’d both make it through, and then maybe they could quit hunting… go make a life somewhere. Together.

“I want you to know that, no matter what happens, these last few years with you? Well, they were no cake walk at times, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything.” Sam paused. “I wouldn’t trade this – what we have right here – for anything. And to keep what we have… I’m gonna fight to save it, or die trying. Whatever I do next is going to be because of my love… for you.”

Dean closed his eyes, praying to an absent god, for a life together for both of them after all this was done. “Sammy…” Dean swallowed past the lump in this throat. “It’s the same for me… and always has been… what I do, I do for you.”

Sam kissed Dean soundly, taking his time. “I love you.” He whispered as he continued to kiss Dean.

“Love you, too, little brother.” Dean whispered back as he pushed himself up and then onto Sam. “Need you…” Dean said softly as he began kissing his way down Sam’s chest.

“Need you, too…” Sam sighed as he gave himself over to their love.

Apparently neither of them were as tuckered out as they had thought.


	21. The Devil You Know

Dean watched Sam drive the demon knife deep into Brady. He had trusted Sam to control himself earlier and Sam hadn’t let him down. But now? It was time for Sam to right the wrongs of the past.

Sam pulled the knife out of Brady and Dean watched Brady’s body fall to the ground. It had to be hard for Sam knowing that somewhere inside that body, he’d just killed a friend who had been trapped inside his own body by a demon for years. He told himself it was the humane thing – being possessed that long would have irreparable consequences on the psyche.

Sam turned and walked past Dean, saying nothing. Dean stared at Brady for a few more moments, hoping that the demon who had been inhabiting that body was now gone forever. Dean had no sympathy for anyone who hurt his little brother.

Dean turned and walked back to the Impala. Sam was there, leaning up against the passenger door. His head was down and his eyes were closed. Dean quickened his strides and said nothing as he pulled Sam into his arms. 

“I’m so sorry, Sammy… I know that was hard.” Dean held Sam tight, trying to comfort him.

Sam dropped his head and rested it on Dean’s shoulder. “I tried so hard to help Brady, Dean… and it wasn’t even him. I hate how those fuckers have been manipulating me for years. How could I be so stupid?”

Dean sighed. He didn’t know what to say, so improvisation was his friend. “You didn’t know, Sammy. How could you? Who checks their friends for demon possession? People fall into drugs and alcohol abuse all the time and they don’t need a demon inside them to do it. You couldn’t have known.”

Sam closed his eyes, concentrating on Dean’s arms around him. Sam wondered briefly how these last 3 years would have played out if he and Dean hadn’t crossed the line between brothers and lovers. Sam was just glad that Dean kissed him first. If he hadn’t, Sam supposed he would wonder if the demon blood inside him would have been what drove him to cross the line.

Sam stood and shook his head to clear away thoughts that disturbed him. He looked down at Dean and saw nothing but love and concern on his face. This isn’t bad, Sam thought. It’s not bad – it’s written in the stars. Sam told himself that over and over as he leaned in and kissed Dean. 

“Thank you for trying to make me feel better, Dean.” Sam whispered. Sam didn’t feel better yet. He felt angry and betrayed by the universe and he ached… real, physical pain from everything he’d been through with these fucking demons.

Dean reached up and stroked Sam’s cheek with his thumb. “Of course, Sammy. I love you and I don’t want you to hurt.” _I want to bring you peace._

Sam nodded and looked to the side before looking back at Dean. “Will you do something for me?”

Dean didn’t hesitate. “Sure, Sammy. What do you need?”

Sam took Dean’s hands in his. “Will you find us a motel room and make me forget all this? I just want to lose myself in you tonight. I don’t want to think about anyone or anything other than you and having you inside me.” Sam paused and then whispered, “Can you do that for me?”

Dean brought his hands to Sam’s face, holding it gently as he kissed him softly. “There is nothing else in this world I’d rather do, Sammy.”

“Thank you.” Sam whispered, holding back his tears. “Thank you…”


	22. Two Minutes to Midnight

Bobby looked at Dean intensely. “So I gotta ask, Dean. Are you afraid of losin’ or losin’ your brother?”

Dean looked back at Bobby, his gaze steady. He waited a few beats before responding. “C’mon Bobby… you know the goddamned answer to that.” Dean stood and finished his beer in one long swallow. He looked down at the empty bottle and then threw it violently into yard. “Fuck!”

Dean swiped both of his hands down his face, in clear distress. “I can’t lose him, Bobby.” Dean said softly. “I just can’t…”

Bobby took a sip of beer, his eyes never leaving Dean. “I know, son. But you’re gonna have to let him go. You promised Death, and Sam? He has to finish this, Dean. You know he feels responsible and for him, this is the path to redemption, whether we like it or not.”

Dean turned and looked down at Bobby, his eyes swimming in tears. “It’s not fair, Bobby. Jesus Christ… we’ve given so fucking much to everyone and we’ve had so little for ourselves. The only true happiness we’ve ever known is… what we’ve been able to take with one another. And now we’re just supposed to give that up?” Dean wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket, trying to maintain some semblance of control. “Fuck…”

“I know, Dean.” Bobby commiserated. “If anyone knows just how much the two of you have sacrificed for the world – and for each other – it’s me. And I hate the thought of Sam in that cage down there with Lucifer… but it’s what he feels he has to do, Dean, and we gotta support him in this. He’s gonna need us right til the very end.”

Dean covered his face with his hands and let his tears flow. He felt sick at that thought of losing Sam. Desperate. When Bobby put a hand on his shoulder, Dean turned and let Bobby hold him as he cried until he could cry no more.

When Dean was all cried out, he stepped away from Bobby, his head bowed, unable to look Bobby in the eye. “Sorry.” Dean whispered. He was sorry for so many fucking things. He just couldn’t believe it had all come to this.

Bobby cleared his throat and wiped his own eyes. “You got nuthin’ to be sorry for, son. Not one damn thing. Now, I’d like to make a suggestion.”

Dean looked up at Bobby and waited.

Bobby cleared his throat and nodded his head once. “I’m gonna take Cas and we’re gonna go get some drinks in town. I suggest you use that time to love your brother – whatever that entails. I’m gonna give you boys some privacy, ok?”

Dean looked at Bobby, his eyes filled with pain. “Ok.” was all he said.

“Good. Now git.” Bobby turned and went to find Cas. Dean went the opposite direction to find Sam.


	23. Swan Song (Prelude)

Dean found Sam in the library, still trying to find another solution to the problem at hand. He was fully prepared to take Lucifer into the pit with him, but if there was another option, he didn’t want to leave Dean if he didn’t have to.

Sam jumped when Dean slid his arms around him from behind. “Sammy.”

Sam turned and pulled Dean into a hug. “You scared me.” Sam whispered before kissing Dean’s neck softly.

Dean hummed in encouragement. “Bobby’s takin’ Cas into to town.” Dean murmured against Sam’s neck. “For drinks. To give us some privacy.”

Sam blushed at the thought of Bobby knowing exactly what they’d be up to while he and Cas were away. Dean stepped back and looked into Sam’s eyes. “Come upstairs with me.”

Sam nodded as Dean turned and led him by the hand up the stairs and into the room they shared whenever they stayed at Bobby’s. Dean closed the door behind them and then turned to face Sam. The brothers looked at one another in silence.

Dean broke it when he stepped forward, taking Sam’s face in his hands. “Sammy…” Dean said softly. Sam looked at Dean expectantly. There were so many things that Dean wanted to say. He wanted to beg Sam to reconsider the plan. He wanted to beg Sam to stay with him. He wanted to tell Sam that he would never love anyone the way he loved him. He wanted to tell Sam he was sorry he broke the first seal and set this all in motion. What Dean did instead was burst into tears, even though he had thought he was all cried out.

Sam pressed himself forward against Dean and pulled him into his arms. When Dean’s knees gave out, Sam picked him up and carried him to the nearest bed. Sam began undressing Dean and then himself while Dean cried. Sam laid down next to Dean and lovingly stroked his face – his cheeks, his lips, his brow, his eyelids until Dean stopped sobbing and his tears dried.

Then Sam moved to cover Dean. He looked down at his brother. They held each other’s gaze as Sam leaned down and gently kissed Dean’s lips. Sam let the kiss go where it would, their tongues meeting and stroking, their lips clinging and pressing together. 

Dean let the passion overtake him, moaning softly and whispering words of love as Sam deepened the kiss. Sam reached for the lube and they began the preparation ritual they’d honed to perfection over the last 3 years. When Dean was ready, Sam slowly drove his cock deep inside his brother, never breaking eye contact, never breaking their kiss.

Sam paused when he was fully inside Dean, savoring the sensation of the tight, wet heat in which he was buried. When Dean lifted his hips in encouragement, Sam began to move. He covered Dean’s entire body with his own. They moved together in perfect time, their bodies sealed so that not even air could come between them.

As their movements became faster and harder, Sam slamming himself deeper into Dean, their moans and cries of ecstasy rose to a fevered pitch until, for the first time, they climaxed exactly together, cocks spurting hot come, their bodies rocking through the aftershocks. 

Sam finally broke the kiss as their breathing quieted. “Dean…” Sam’s voice was low and intense. “Remember this… remember us…” Sam’s voice broke. “Remember me.”

Dean’s eyes filled with tears and he managed to choke out. “Sammy… I will. I’ll remember everything. I promise.”

Sam kissed the corners of Dean’s eyes, tasting the salt of Dean’s tears. “But then forget. When it’s time… you have to forget, ok?”

Dean looked at Sam, confused. “What?”

Sam kissed Dean softly. “In time, you’re gonna have to forget… this… us… me. You’ll need to go on, Dean. Without me. And you’ll never be able to do that if you don’t forget.”

Dean’s eyes narrowed in anger. “Don’t you tell me to forget us, Sammy. Or you. Ever. I cannot do that and I won’t make that promise.”

Sam looked down at Dean in sympathy. “You have to, Dean. Otherwise… it’ll all be in vain. If I can’t picture you finding a life up here… then I don’t know what I’m going to hang onto to keep my humanity down there. I just want you to be happy, Dean. I need you to be happy.”

Dean pushed Sam off of him and stood, angry as hell. “I am happy, Sammy. Right fucking here with you! Nothing and no one will ever replace that. Don’t you get it?”

Sam stood and looked at Dean. “Mystery Spot. The four months you were in hell. Of course I fucking get it, Dean. That’s why I’m telling you to let go. Not right away… but eventually… let go, have a life… go to Lisa and Ben…”

Dean balled his hands into fists. He was furious.

Until Sam let his tears fall. Sam stood in front of Dean, naked and sticky with tears rolling down his face. “Please, Dean… please…” Sam fell to his knees and sobbed. Dean rushed around to where Sam was kneeling.

“I’m sorry, Sammy… please don’t cry.” Dean gathered Sam in his arms, rocking him. Sam wrapped his arms around his brother, needing the contact.

When Sam let go of the pain, his tears stopped flowing. He found as much peace as he was going to find for the moment… and maybe forever. Dean stood and lifted Sam with him, guiding him to the other bed. They laid down together, holding on tight.

Sam sighed and took Dean’s hand in his. “I’ll always be in love with you, Dean. When I take Lucifer into that pit… just know that it’ll be my love for you that gave me the strength to do it. That, you can remember always… ok?”

“Sammy…” Dean swallowed thickly. His brother was so certain he could do this and Dean still had doubts, recalling Lucifer wearing Sam in Detroit from the year 2014. He pushed that thought away and kissed Sam. “I love you so fucking much.”

Sam pulled Dean closer. “I know, Dean. I love you, too.”


	24. Swan Song (Intermission)

Lucifer looked at Dean with Sam’s eyes. “I told you, this would always happen in Detroit.”

Sam disappeared right before Dean’s eyes. Dean’s eyes filled with tears as he brought his hands to head and turned in circle. He lowered his arms and fell to his knees. “Noooooo… god, no… Sammy!” Dean screamed into the empty room.

Dean gagged. And then he gagged again. He retched and retched until there was nothing left – just dry heaves in the empty room. Sam… his beautiful Sammy… was gone, swallowed up whole by Lucifer. His body remained but his baby brother was gone.

Dean screamed with rage and despair. He screamed so loudly that Cas and Bobby could hear him from the street. They ran to the building and up the stairs. They followed Dean’s screams to the room at the front of the building where Lucifer had been.

Dean was still on his hands and knees, his body wracked by great and unending sobs.

Bobby ran forward and bent down, putting his hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Dean… you gotta get yourself under control, son.”

Dean looked up at Bobby, his eyes awash with tears. “Sammy…” he gasped, a plea in his eyes that Bobby couldn’t provide. Nothing was bringing Sam back now.

Bobby hauled Dean to his feet. “Cas! Help me here.”

Cas rushed over and put Dean’s arm over his shoulder. Cas and Bobby helped Dean from the room and then waited until he got himself back under control.

With a few rough gasps and deep breaths, Dean let go of Cas and Bobby and ran down the stairs, into the street, looking every direction, hoping to find his brother. Cas and Bobby caught up with Dean and watched him in his anguish.

When Dean turned and saw them standing there, watching, he implored, “Do something… Bobby… Cas… we gotta do something!”

Bobby and Cas looked on in sympathy, knowing there was nothing they could do. 

Dean hung his head, shaking it, negating what he’d just seen moments ago… Sam losing immediately to Lucifer and disappearing from Dean’s sight and Dean’s life. Maybe forever.

No, there was no way this was how it was going to end, Dean thought. He took a deep breath and steeled himself. He raised his head and looked and Cas and Bobby. “Let’s go.”


	25. Swan Song (Postlude)

_One Month Without Sam_

Dean kissed Lisa on the cheek as she took Ben’s hand and led them out to the car. She was heading to work and would drop Ben off along the way.

Dean sighed as he watched Lisa back out onto the street and drive away. He stood at the window for ten minutes before turning and walking out to the garage. He unlocked the driver’s door of the Impala and slid in behind the wheel. He rubbed his hands over the steering wheel, feeling the familiar bumps and ridges beneath his fingers. He took a deep breath and savored the smell of his car… his home.

Dean closed his eyes and imagined Sam in the passenger seat. “Remember the time we went to Minneapolis, Sammy?” Dean asked the empty seat beside him. He imagined Sam smiling at him with love in his eyes. “Fogo sure was something, wasn’t it?”

Dean imagined Sam reaching over and taking his hand, “Yeah, Dean… but I think making out with you at the 90s was better.” The Sam in his mind paused. “That was the night we dry humped and came in our pants like a couple of teenagers.”

Dean smiled, remembering how it felt to come from his brother’s touch. “Yeah, Sammy… that was when things got serious between us. They got real.” Dean whispered. Dean opened his eyes and reached over to the glove compartment, popping it open. Inside was the shirt Sam had worn the night before he said yes to Lucifer. It still smelled exactly like Sam. Dean lifted it to his face, rubbing the fabric on his cheeks, burying his nose in it. Inhaling deep… surrounding himself in the scent of his brother.

Dean leaned back and closed his eyes. With one hand, he held Sam’s shirt to his face, savoring the scent. He used his other hand to free his hardening cock from his pants. He started stroking himself, tugging and pulling, making himself harder as he thought about the tight, wet heat of his brother.

“Wanna be inside you, Sammy.” Dean whispered as he used his thumb to spread his precome over the tip of his cock. He moaned when he thought about Sam lowering himself onto his cock and riding him, slamming himself down onto Dean’s cock over and over.

“I fucking love your cock, Dean.” the Sam of Dean’s memories said. “I love taking it deep inside me. Need it so much…”

Dean moaned as he continued stroking himself, thinking of Sam, needing Sam… wanting nothing but Sam.

Dean imagined Sam undulating his hips, taking Dean deep, deep inside him, tightening around him. He imagined Sam stroking himself so Dean could watch as he stroked himself just for him… all while taking Dean’s cock in deeper and deeper.

“So good, Sammy… fuck…” Dean whispered. He stroked himself faster. As his orgasm approached, Dean buried his nose further into Sam’s shirt, trying to remember everything about his little brother. As he came, Dean moaned Sam’s name over and over and over until he was spent.

Dean let his hand with the shirt fall to the side as he caught his breath. Before the last aftershock rolled through him, his tears started to fall. “Oh god… Sammy… I fucking miss you so much…” Dean moaned as he cried.

Minutes later, Dean had himself back under control. He looked at Sam’s shirt. He brought it to his lips and kissed it gently. “I love you, Sammy.” he whispered.

_Two Months Without Sam_

Lisa had been trying to initiate sex with Dean for weeks, but he was still emotionally wrecked. Dean drank every night and while he didn’t really get started while Ben was awake, he sure pounded them down once Ben went to bed. Most nights, Dean was too drunk to function, but tonight he was drunk but still coherent.

When he crawled into bed, Lisa tried again to initiate something with him, kissing his face, his lips, rubbing her hands up and down his body. For once, Dean responded in kind. When he flipped her onto her back, she was surprised. Dean had his eyes closed as he began fingering her. He stroked inside her, murmuring about how wet and tight she was. 

When Dean slid his cock deep inside her, Lisa gasped. Dean put his head next to hers and panted in her ear as he pounded into her. He pushed her legs up and drove his cock into her over and over. She reached down and began playing with her clit, needing the stimulation to get her there. When she finally came, Dean let go with a shout.

Dean rolled off of her and lay on his side, quickly falling asleep.

Lisa laid awake for a long time, trying to convince herself she hadn’t heard Dean yell “Sammy” as he came.

In the morning, Lisa and Dean left for work at the same time. But Lisa wasn’t going to work today. She went to the automotive store and bought a car cover. She went back home and grabbed the keys to the Impala and went out to the garage. 

She opened the door to the car and took in the interior. It was clean and empty. She opened the trunk and found nothing in visible trunk. There was a key hole that would release the compartment below, but none of the keys on Dean’s key ring were for that so Lisa closed the trunk and went back to the front.

She popped open the glove compartment and found a shirt. She looked at it and then grabbed it, bringing it to her nose. It didn’t smell like Dean. It carried a scent she didn’t recognize. She shook out the shirt and looked at the size. It was clearly Sam’s.

Lisa sighed and made a decision that Dean wasn’t going to like. She closed the door to the Impala and dragged the car cover over the entirety of the car. She went back into the house and threw Sam’s shirt in the washer with some other clothes.

When Dean came home from work that night, he found Sam’s shirt folded on the dresser. Lisa had left a note on it. All it said was, “Enough.”

Dean went downstairs and started drinking early.

_Three Months Without Sam_

It was a Saturday. Dean was working overtime and Lisa was home doing laundry. When the last shirt was folded, she hauled the basket upstairs and began putting the clothes away. Way in the back of the master closet, Lisa saw a duffel she’d never seen before. She kneeled down and pulled it toward her.

She unzipped the duffel and began rifling through the contents. Shirts, jeans, a couple of jackets… nothing much. There was a box in the bottom so she pulled that out. She opened it and looked at the contents. There was a receipt from Fogo de Chão, concert ticket stubs, movie ticket stubs and some photos. Sam and Dean as kids with their dad. Sam and Dean next to the Impala. Sam and Dean with an older gentleman in a ball cap. And then there were some of those photo booth photos. Sam and Dean making funny faces. Sam and Dean looking at each other and laughing.

Sam and Dean kissing.

Lisa dropped the box and its contents on the floor and pushed herself back from the duffel.

Everything made sense now. Everything. She shook her head in denial… but deep down, she’d always known from the first time she’d seen Sam and Dean together.

Lisa wiped the tears from her eyes as she tried to put the contents of the box back the way she found them. She zipped up the duffel bag and shoved it back into the corner.

When she stood up, she noticed something on the last hanger. She pushed back the clothes from the jacket on the last hanger and just looked at it for a moment. It was Dean’s leather jacket… which had been his father’s before him. And underneath it… was the shirt Dean had kept in the glove compartment of the Impala.

Lisa closed her eyes and exhaled loudly. She’d seen Brokeback Mountain. And she knew then that if the universe ever found a way to bring back Sam… she’d lose Dean.

She felt guilty when she prayed that Sam would never come back.


End file.
